Tedium

I have had a cold for almost a week and due to feeling ill, had taken a few days off my own T'ai Chi practice, apart from teaching: so maybe 3 days off in all. Doing T'ai Chi with the cold today was a much better idea, even if it was for shorter than usual, in a way it was more intense. I will try not to take time off T'ai Chi in future, it is counter-productive for me. I missed a few days' opportunity to see what it was like to study when unwell, and to see if and how it would help, or just how it would be different. Also, as I am a little tired I am wasting less energy on words and found that we were joining differently in our partnerwork. There was a different quality of softness.

As soon as I take any time off my usual practice I notice hundreds of ordinary things rush in to fill the time. All the little things feel tyrannical. It is all those small things that 'have to be done' that are the hardest to be free of or to not let rule a life. My old busy-ness is of no use, I feel it's avoidance of what really needs to be done.

[It reminded me just now of the 'Terrible Tedium' character in the brilliant children's book by Norton Juster 'The Phantom Tollbooth'. He gets the hero Milo to move a heap of sand one grain at a time with tweezers by asking ever-so-nicely. When Milo finally notices what he is doing, Tedium (portrayed as a faceless but well-spoken gent) gets irate, and Milo flees and gets back to his much more important quest. This has to be one of my favourite children's books, now I remember it. ]