Gentleness

Just a quick post as I should really go to bed... Turriff class started last week, but lots of folk were still away. This week it filled up and was a nice mixture of those who have been coming a while and new students. Often, especially outside big population centres, T'ai chi is expected to be just the solo work. Most people's perception of T'ai Chi, if they have heard of it at all, is of a series of graceful flowing movements 'like a dance'. They also speak of it reducing stress and being good for one's joints in old age. All of this is true.

When we have been doing T'ai Chi for a while our perception of it will change radically: what we came to start T'ai chi for may be totally different from why we continue to practise it. Personally, I only went to my first T'ai Chi class when I was 14 because I had taken a shine to a boy who was going along, and thought I'd seem more cool if I went too. Many years later, thankfully, I have other reasons to practise. The boy I admired didn't 'get' T'ai Chi anyway, and said it was to 'airy fairy' for him so he never went again. Conversely, I fell in love with it and, despite unsuccessful trial separations of a few years, I am still in love with it now. Tonight with new students, I remembered the shallow and seemingly random reason why I started this and didn't feel so inclined to judge the reasons why new beginners were starting. Most didn't know T'ai Chi had partnerwork. For some people it can be quite shocking just to touch hands with another stranger outside our coded conventions of everyday life.

Wonderfully, sticking still can bring an incredulous smile to the face of someone who only moments ago was very resistant to the very idea of it. There really is something so mysterious yet utterly natural going on. Gentleness is the key, especially when working with a brand new beginner, as we may do quite alot over the next fortnight. Not trying to teach, to over explain, to get it right. Instead allowing the unknowing to exist for a little while longer, to allow a real communication to unfold rather than 'I talk now, you listen. Then we change roles'.

When I first taught, I was anxious to make everything seem totally normal and straightforward, and probably over-explained and spoke too much. Wanting to put people at their ease is a great idea, but I have learned much more about actually doing that over the years from my teacher, I notice it has little to do with what we might say.

Now I have almost said too much again! Gentleness, softness, openness. We want to encourage the reaching out want-to-be-touched feeling in the other. If what you are doing at any moment is encouraging that in your partner, then carry on doing it.

I am visiting friends on Tuesday then will be resuming the beginner's class in Inverurie Academy at 7pm Wednesday. All Thursday students are welcome to come to that for free to help out any time, no need to contact me first.