Longing is the core of mystery.
Longing itself brings the cure.
The only rule is, Suffer the pain.
Your desire must be disciplined,
and what you want to happen
in time, sacrificed.

from 'Say I Am You' Rumi ISBN 1884237002

Fitou

One of the up-sides to getting on my moped and going to students' houses to teach one-to-one sessions is that I get to meet other cats. All cats seem to enjoy watching T'ai Chi, particularly Fitou, in this picture, who watched today's lesson. The best onlooker still remains Smokie, our late and ancient deaf cat, who would watch avidly if we worked hard, silently and smoothly. If we began to talk or discuss things for any length of time, she would either walk out or go to sleep turned the other way.

More Rumi

Not until someone dissolves
can he or she know
what union is.
That descends only
into emptiness.
A lie does not change to truth
with just talking about it.

from 'Say I am You'

I can break off from anyone,
except that presence within.
Anyone can bring gifts,
Give me someone who takes away.

From 'Unseen Rain'

Take someone who doesn't keep score,
Who's not looking to be richer, or afraid of losing,
who has not the slightest interest even
in his own personality: He's free.

From 'Open Secret'

Mark Rothko

Black on Maroon, 1959 by Mark Rothko, Tate Modern, London.

Yesterday David and I were talking about going to see art, and how exhausting and pointless it is to trail round a huge galery to see lots of works, and also about the paucity of feeling of so much work. It's almost a cliche now, but the 'Rothko Room' at the Tate Modern, (they used to be at what is now Tate Britain) is still the most incredibly moving collection of art I have ever seen (and with 9 years at art college, I saw alot of art...) The room breathes you in, you are compelled to stop, sit down and really look. Then even the looking disappears and the paintings loom, undermining your attempts to look for narrative or easy meaning. You do not understand the paintings, they understand you.

Radio 4 Programme

There was a lovely Radio piece on Gerda Geddes on Radio 4's 'Last Word' programme yesterday and if you go to the URL below you can hear it until next Thursday.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/news/lastword.shtml

From the BBC site:
Pytt Geddes, The woman who introduced T'ai Chi to Britain who has died aged 88. In her youth Pytt joined the Norwegian resistance and eventually escaped to Sweden where she combined a knowledge of psychoanalysis and dance to develop a dance therapy for victims of the concentration camps. Following her marriage to David Geddes in 1948, she moved to Shanghai where she first came across t'ai chi ch'uan. Her daughter Harriet Devlin and the dancer and choreographer Richard Alston discuss her life and career. Gerda Meyer Bruun (known as Pytt) was born in Norway on July 17th 1917 and died on March 4th 2006.

Posture

One of my students, who has been doing T'ai Chi about 2 years, worked with some of the team who developed MRI scanning (magnetic resonance imaging). She still works in that field and thought it would be good to scan 'normal' posture and 'T'ai Chi' posture and compare them. The MRI scanner is horizontal, noisy and it takes 5 minutes to scan (I have had one, it's like being in a very tiny, cold, techno night club, but with more atmosphere and more interesting outfits,) so whether her posture is exactly what Mark or myself had last corrected her to, or just near to it, I don't know. She said she tucked the tail bone in and imagined standing with the sacrum pushing forwards and downwards, like in class.

It is wonderful to see the natural curves of the back still present in the corrected posture image, but not so extreme, and with the tail really visible and driving forward. The soft tissues are all visible, unlike with x-rays, and you can see the extension of the erector spinae and lumbar muscles as they lengthen and relax, as opposed to the shortened contracted muscles in the c-curve of the normal posture.

Nicolette sent me this pastel painting today in response to the week-long T'ai Chi retreat she was part of.

Gerda Geddes Teaching at The Place, London

Gerda Geddes: Obituary by Frank Woods

Gerda ‘Pytt’ Geddes: t’ai chi pioneer, dancer, psychoanalyst

Gerda Geddes died on 4th March 2006 in Shrewsbury where she was visiting her younger daughter. She was in her 89th year and was well prepared for death which she faced with trademark clarity. Clarity, along with flow and balance, are key principles in her book ‘Looking for the Golden Needle’ in which she finds within the symbolism of T’ai Chi an allegory for the human journey from birth to death.
She was born Gerda Meyer Bruun in Bergen, Norway on 17th July 1917, daughter of a distinguished businessman and politician. From an early age Gerda had a strong sense of her own identity and of a force that she felt as inner personal energy. It was an energy that she was aware of in her early explorations of dance and of psychoanalysis, both of which were major influences in her young adult life in Oslo and later in Sweden after her involvement in the Norwegian Resistance had led to a perilous escape from Norway
In 1948, she married David Geddes and travelled to China in connection with his business career. During a dawn walk she came upon an old man performing T’ai Chi. As she watched, she experienced sensations of light and energy and a growing conviction that this was what she was searching for. It was extremely difficult for a Western man to find a T’ai Chi master and virtually unheard of for a woman: except a woman of Gerda’s determination. She persuaded Choy Hawk Pang, himself a pupil of Yang Chengfu, to teach her. Instruction was by imitation, Gerda’s houseboy translated as required, and there was strictly no physical contact, hence Push Hands was off the curriculum. Such was her progress under Choy Hawk Pang and, later, his son Choy Kam Man, that Kam Man, writing to her in 1956, describes her as his ‘one and only true successor’.
Britain in 1959 was less prepared to be enthusiastic about Gerda’s T’ai Chi. Her initial attempts to interest dance studios, drama schools, and similar agencies fell on stony ground. Then, in the early Sixties, she started teaching T’ai Chi in London, Cambridge and Tunbridge Wells. Later she joined the staff of the newly opened London Contemporary Dance School, ‘The Place’ where she taught T’ai Chi for thirty years and influenced generations of modern dancers, musicians, artists, doctors, therapists and members of the public who attended her classes.
Two years after her husband’s death in 1995, Gerda moved to northeast Scotland to be near her elder daughter. She continued to teach T’ai Chi classes until 2002 when, at the age of 85, she decided to stop instructing. By this time, ‘Searching for the Golden Needle’ had been republished with an epilogue which considers preparation for the mystery of death. It ends: ‘We just grow wider and deeper all the time and all we have to do is climb to the top of the mountain and jump.’
A memorial service will be held at Coull Church on Saturday 25th March at 2pm. Coull Church is in Aberdeenshire, next to Kirklands of Coull, off the road between Aboyne and Tarland.

Frank Woods

NB. for those wishing to make contact with each other about Gerda or publications, please send me your email addresses via the blog or to info [at] greatrivertaichi [dot] co [dot] uk and I will do my best to connest you.

Gerda Geddes

Gerda Geddes died peacefully last week. She was reputedly the first westerner to teach T'ai Chi in the UK. One of my students, Frank, was asked by Gerda to interview her over the last few years and will hopefully write a book reflecting on her life and work. If you have photos, recollections or information that you would like to share with him please contact him at frank@forseat.demon.co.uk Also feel free to pass this on to anyone who knew Gerda.

Although I did not meet her, I often meet or teach T'ai Chi folks who were her students or friends, and Frank will write a small piece for this blog about her shortly.

Hazel tree in Davina's garden.
Click on each picture to see it larger.

Classes over Easter Break and beyond

All regular classes cease for the Easter break on Friday 31st March. I will continue some classes at my house over most of the holiday and all students are wecome to all sessions, whatever level of experience you are at.

Sundays 2-6pm: 2nd, 9th, 16th April (with David TBC), £10
Thursdays 7-9pm: 6th & 13th April (with David TBC), £5

Sunday sessions continue all year unless otherwise stated.
Turriff 7-8.30pm class resumes Monday 17th April
Aberdeen 7.30-9pm class resumes Tuesday 18th April
Inverurie Intermediates 7-9pm resume Thursday 20th April
Inverurie Beginners 7-8.30pm resume Wednesday 26th April

Saturday morning Beginners classes are at Forgue by arrangement. Do feel free to contact me about 121s or other sessions. I will be in London studying with Mark from 10th-16th April.

Mark and Caroline practising double pushing hands.

David and Mark demonstrating 'punch under elbow'

Student: In most fighting arts, students have invariably approached and surpassed the achievements of their teachers. Why is it that none of your pupils approach you? [...] What is the secret?
Master: You are right, there is a secret. But it is so simple as to be unbelievable. Its nature insists that you believe, that you have faith: otherwise you will fail. The secret is simply this: you must relax body and mind totally. You must be prepared to accept defeat repeatedly and for a long period: you must "invest in loss" - otherwise you will never succeed. I succeeded to my present state because I pushed pride aside and believed my master's words. [...] My students either do not believe this path or, if they do, they do not pursue it eagerly enough.

From 'T'ai Chi, The "Supreme Ultimate"' by Cheng Man-ch'ing and Robert W Smith, ISBN 0804835934

News

The March T’ai Chi Retreat with Mark Raudva was a great success, despite the very heavy snow. Only three people were unable to come due to weather conditions and they now plan to join us for the Summer Retreat in August. The benefit of a whole uninterrupted week of group practise was clear, and we now plan to do this twice a year. I will post pictures from the Sunday session as soon as they are ready.

Huntly classes have moved. Anyone wishing to continue can contact me about classes at Forgue, 10 miles from Huntly, on a Saturday morning 11am-12.30pm. All levels are welcome.

New students are welcome throughout March and April at my home and Aberdeen. Inverurie and Turriff beginners can join after the Easter break. One to one lessons with me are always available.

Mark has confirmed the 2006 workshop themes, dates and times as follows:

Friday 12th May: Ta Lu. Learn or revise both sides of the Ta Lu, (an interlocking partner form which translates as 'big roll-back'). All who have at least a term's T'ai Chi experience with me are very welcome to attend. Also welcome are those who have studied for a year elsewhere or who practise a different style or martial art. 7-10pm £10 /£8

Saturday 13th May:An Introduction to T'ai Chi at Mclymont Hall, 43 Holburn St. Aberdeen, 1-6pm. All are welcome, absolute beginners as well as those who want to revise the basic principles of T'ai Chi and spend a day relaxing, softening and listening. There will be demonstrations, solo and partnerwork and an introduction to the warm-up set or Chi Kung. Bring a packed lunch or snack for the break and there will be tea and refreshments provided. Wear loose comfortable clothing and soft shoes. No previous experience of T'ai Chi is needed. £15 / £10 (concs) in advance, £18/ £13 on the day.

Sunday 14th May: 1-5pm Study Day for all my students. If you have studied with me for a term or more you are welcome to this day with Mark where we will look a little deeper at solo form and aspects of partner work. If more than 12 wish to come, I will hire the lovely hall in my village, Forgue, so let me know as soon as you can if you wish to come. £15/10.
7-10pm: Ta Lu - Left Side and Changes. We will reconvene at the hall or my home to look at the left side (or mirror image) of the Ta Lu form as well as some of the changes. This is open to all who have done a Ta Lu workshop with Mark. £10 / £8

If you would like to go to both of these Sunday workshops, feel free to come to my house for a bite to eat between sessions. Perhaps we could all bring a dish to share.

August T'ai Chi Retreat Workshop will be held at my home in Forgue from 2pm on Saturday 12th August until 10pm Friday 18th. There are plenty of spaces if you would like to come, and it is open to all, whatever your experience of T'ai Chi, as well as beginners. It is non-residential, so the only costs are for Mark's teaching (£175 for the week) and for a meal and refreshments each day (£5 per person per day). However, there is also room for a few people to stay if they want to for £5 per night, contact me if you would like to do this. We study from 2pm -5.30pm and 7.30pm-10pm each day. It is possible to come for just the weekend, if work commitments do not allow you a week off, or for any number of consecutive days starting from the Saturday.

A Week Of T'ai Chi

9 days of T'ai Chi with my teacher Mark, David, my students and other T'ai Chi folk have drawn to a close. I feel sadness at it ending mixed with gratitude for both the teaching and the chance to practise in a group for a sustained time. Over the next few days I will put a few pictures up from the Sunday afternoon session. There have been some real challenges for me over the period, including wrestling with the desire to be a full-time student of T'ai Chi, rather than to teach. I do love teaching, and students light my enthusiasm regularly, but it is such a luxury to be able to ask questions of my own, to get corrections, to have the time to take apart my attitudes, techniques and postures, go right back to fundamentals and see if things need throwing out or adjusting. Yielding to physical, internal and 'external' pushes has a been a theme of my week; or rather, how much I am a beginner in this, and how much I need to further soften and connect.

Over a week or more it gave me time to spend a whole day working on one correction, rather than flitting to the next thing to be attended to. One day, for instance, Mark had been speaking about using the eyes correctly in our T'ai Chi. The following day I tried to do all the work 'as if looking out of the whites of my eyes' (as Steven Moore [see link to his blog at side of page] once evocatively put it), trying to cultivate a relaxed, expansive gaze that does not fixate or grasp at things. I wear glasses, and spending a few of the hours with the unfocused gaze that removing my lenses and specs produced, was interesting, but made me feel slightly disconnected. It was very different from really allowing my lens-corrected 20/20 vision to relax and encompass the room, softening but reaching out to the periphery of my visual field. I felt far more connected to the group and felt my movement was part of a greater whole, something I rarely glimpse. Also it produced a subtle shift in where I felt I was located in my own body. Rather then being 'in my head' I felt loosely in my spine, like a big C curve or a satellite dish, with the feeling that my heart could somehow beam out... The softening in the gaze must be helping other things melt too, as the spiralling motions felt utterly changed, much more present in all 3 tantiens and less prone to being clunky.

These are all words about things. The main thing is the hours of T'ai Chi and receiving good teaching have profound effects. To my students who came along: keep up daily practice, so as not to feel ill effects of suddenly stopping again. Also, you may feel changes for many days or weeks. This is natural.

Friday Weather Conditions

These pics are from 11am today. The gritter has been up and down the road lots and there is traffic, so all seems well for travel. Snow overnight but none at all today, bright sunshine has been melting the snow all day. We dug out the entrance to the gate this morning for two hours and made space for folks to park at the gate area and just inside. There is also space to park at the gate area of the locked gates of our neighbour, along the road towards Forgue another 100 metres. Call us before you set off, or to let us know if you are not coming. Mark has arrived with only a slight delay for the plane. There is planty of room to stay, and with ingenuity, to park! We expect the weather to get steadily better, so the new rule of thumb is... come as soon as you can safely get here!

Connected

One of artist Gillian Wearing's 'Sign Bearers' from about 10 years ago, reprinted in The Guardian last month.

On With The Snow...

It's still snowing on and off, but also simultaneously melting, very strange. Everything is still in place for the Friday evening class and the weekend / week-long retreat. If you are coming here, and will be delayed, just let me know. Also, due to the bad weather and my lack of car, let me know if you are going past a shop on the way here, as we may need supplies like milk, bread, etc. and we would be really grateful if students could occasionally pick them up on their way here, if convenient.

Weekend Retreat Spaces

There is a still room for any students who would like to come on Saturday, or Saturday and Sunday this weekend to do the first part of the retreat, but who have to work from Monday. The cost will be £25 per day tuition and food/drink/heating contribution is £5 per day. The times are 2-5pm and 7-10pm daily, with a meal in between the sessions. Do drop me a line.

03.3.06: It is still snowing, though the road to our house is clear, and all is still set for the weekend.