30 January 2006
29 January 2006
Nature of Yield
This arrived from a student in my email, a day before yesterday. Here it is in its entirety.
Nature of Yield
I always find pushing hands challenging. I feel exposed and vulnerable, but more unsavoury and personal is that I feel something inside of me that I don’t like to acknowledge – aggression. If my partner is quite good at yielding, I find it especially frustrating. I want to feel something solid in the person standing in front of me and maybe I’m offended if I can’t make contact. At any rate, the better someone is at yielding, the more I feel a certain aggressive desire to make contact – to push. When attending a session with Mark, I ended up in tears at this perceived ‘ugliness’ within me because I found it frightening and unworthy of who I want to be. I took away a lot to think about from my session with Mark. How does one genuinely learn to not care about defending against the push, to become truly interested in where the push originates, to preserve self without seeming to defend self? For me it is elusive, but tantalising – both in the practice of T’ai Chi and in my attitude toward daily living.
How do you learn from a master? How many years, how much practice does it take to learn to really yield? I hold the lesson in a certain reverence which one grants something particularly wise. About a week after my session with Mark I had a graphic lesson in the nature of yield from my 15-year-old nephew which humbled me:
Jamie has always been the smallest boy in his class, and for a long time was the smallest boy in his school. He lives in a rough area of Aberdeen; he has real working-class roots. He’s a quiet young man (in front of me at least) and as I rarely see him, he seems a bit unknowable. What I did know was that his doctor had put Jamie onto some hormone treatment to help him grow and his school had called meetings with his parents several times to discuss the psychological impact that being tiny might have on Jamie and to offer counselling. I heard my brother-in-law dismiss it as ‘unnecessary’ and I wondered if he were right to do so.
It was Hogmanay and we were at my brother-in-law’s house with his wife, his two sons and a few other couples. Everyone had been drinking except the kids, although I think that Jamie at 15 had been given one alcopop. I had never met one of the couples and during the course of the evening wandered into the kitchen and ended up listening to a ghost story of sorts as told by this big, burly man. He swore it was true, and on the basis of his story-telling I liked him and started to feel comfortable with he and his wife. He ended up sitting next to me in the living room, showing me photos of his son on his mobile. Jamie was sitting in a chair quietly playing a game on his mobile. This big burly man of 36 started tormenting Jamie to my surprise and horror:
“How come yer wearin’ pink, Jamie? You a pouf?”
no answer, just a little look up from his mobile. I turn on Jock (– yes, that was his name) blustering to Jamie’s defence, “It’s the fashion!”
“Nah, no self-respecting man wears pink. Come now, yer a wee poufter, aren’t yah Jamie?”
A little smile and back down to the game.
It got worse: “There’s no shame in admittin’ it, there’s lots of queers around nowadays, go on tell me.”
The baiting continued, Jock attacked Jamie’s hair, because it had blond highlighted tips. He asked Jamie if he had a girlfriend. Jamie said no and Jock asked if that was because he was so small, no girl would look at him. It continued. I was mortified for Jamie and had jumped away from Jock once he had begun. I tried to cajole Jock out of picking on Jamie and tried to pick back at him. Finally, I was upset enough to leave the room to find Peter, my brother-in-law, to put a stop to it. I was shaky, and my stomach knotted with worry that this horrible person was a friend of the family. I didn’t know how to treat him, I was in someone else’s house. I got Peter and told him that Jock was being horrible to Jamie. (I tattled!) Peter looked at me a little quizzically and assured me that Jock was just like that and I shouldn’t worry. Nevertheless, he wandered into the living room and sat down next to Jock. Jock continued on the same vein. Peter looked at Jamie and Jamie shot a look at his dad. They exchanged a smile. Nothing happened. Jock had pretty much worn himself down. I could make neither head nor tail of the entire situation. Why was I the only one who was upset?
The next morning I asked Jamie, “Did you really not care about all that stuff Jock was saying to you?”
“Nah. That’s Jock”
As Jamie sat quietly listening, I told Peter how upset I was the night before, to which he smiled and replied, “That’s just Jock. He’s always looking for a reaction.”
I protested that it was unfair for a 36 year old to do that to a 15 year old. Peter laughed and said Jamie had the unfair advantage over Jock. Jamie giggled. Peter explained that Jock liked to boast that he could turn his 17 year old son into a 3 year old with just a few words. He laughed and said Jock still couldn’t understand how it didn’t work on Jamie. Jamie laughed. Finally I blurted out, “Well it worked on ME!”
Peter just tutt-ed at me and said, “That’s just Jock, you have to know how to take him.”
That I had witnessed something to do with ‘yielding’ and understanding ‘the source of a push’ dawned on me. I was disappointed with my response to a push. I realised that Jamie had a far better grasp of the true nature of yielding than I did, without T’ai Chi without any particular named philosophy to pin to it; he just understood. Peter understood. They both still seemed to like Jock. I felt like the slowest disciple. I flashed back to a childhood of witnessing the damage that cruel words did to my single mother. I understood the source of my defensive energies. Jamie hadn’t needed my protection the night before, my reaction was probably amusing enough to keep Jock going. I had inadvertently prolonged the verbal attack. I was the only one who seemed hurt. I was the only one reacting. My 15-year-old nephew painted a lesson for me in vibrant colours, the nature of yield, keeping his own integrity, not caring about the push because the push couldn’t hurt him, he understood the source. They still liked this man. I stood in awe. I still can’t like Jock after the way he attacked Jamie, maybe I still haven’t learned the lesson, but it is so tantalising, so worth pursuing.
Nature of Yield
I always find pushing hands challenging. I feel exposed and vulnerable, but more unsavoury and personal is that I feel something inside of me that I don’t like to acknowledge – aggression. If my partner is quite good at yielding, I find it especially frustrating. I want to feel something solid in the person standing in front of me and maybe I’m offended if I can’t make contact. At any rate, the better someone is at yielding, the more I feel a certain aggressive desire to make contact – to push. When attending a session with Mark, I ended up in tears at this perceived ‘ugliness’ within me because I found it frightening and unworthy of who I want to be. I took away a lot to think about from my session with Mark. How does one genuinely learn to not care about defending against the push, to become truly interested in where the push originates, to preserve self without seeming to defend self? For me it is elusive, but tantalising – both in the practice of T’ai Chi and in my attitude toward daily living.
How do you learn from a master? How many years, how much practice does it take to learn to really yield? I hold the lesson in a certain reverence which one grants something particularly wise. About a week after my session with Mark I had a graphic lesson in the nature of yield from my 15-year-old nephew which humbled me:
Jamie has always been the smallest boy in his class, and for a long time was the smallest boy in his school. He lives in a rough area of Aberdeen; he has real working-class roots. He’s a quiet young man (in front of me at least) and as I rarely see him, he seems a bit unknowable. What I did know was that his doctor had put Jamie onto some hormone treatment to help him grow and his school had called meetings with his parents several times to discuss the psychological impact that being tiny might have on Jamie and to offer counselling. I heard my brother-in-law dismiss it as ‘unnecessary’ and I wondered if he were right to do so.
It was Hogmanay and we were at my brother-in-law’s house with his wife, his two sons and a few other couples. Everyone had been drinking except the kids, although I think that Jamie at 15 had been given one alcopop. I had never met one of the couples and during the course of the evening wandered into the kitchen and ended up listening to a ghost story of sorts as told by this big, burly man. He swore it was true, and on the basis of his story-telling I liked him and started to feel comfortable with he and his wife. He ended up sitting next to me in the living room, showing me photos of his son on his mobile. Jamie was sitting in a chair quietly playing a game on his mobile. This big burly man of 36 started tormenting Jamie to my surprise and horror:
“How come yer wearin’ pink, Jamie? You a pouf?”
no answer, just a little look up from his mobile. I turn on Jock (– yes, that was his name) blustering to Jamie’s defence, “It’s the fashion!”
“Nah, no self-respecting man wears pink. Come now, yer a wee poufter, aren’t yah Jamie?”
A little smile and back down to the game.
It got worse: “There’s no shame in admittin’ it, there’s lots of queers around nowadays, go on tell me.”
The baiting continued, Jock attacked Jamie’s hair, because it had blond highlighted tips. He asked Jamie if he had a girlfriend. Jamie said no and Jock asked if that was because he was so small, no girl would look at him. It continued. I was mortified for Jamie and had jumped away from Jock once he had begun. I tried to cajole Jock out of picking on Jamie and tried to pick back at him. Finally, I was upset enough to leave the room to find Peter, my brother-in-law, to put a stop to it. I was shaky, and my stomach knotted with worry that this horrible person was a friend of the family. I didn’t know how to treat him, I was in someone else’s house. I got Peter and told him that Jock was being horrible to Jamie. (I tattled!) Peter looked at me a little quizzically and assured me that Jock was just like that and I shouldn’t worry. Nevertheless, he wandered into the living room and sat down next to Jock. Jock continued on the same vein. Peter looked at Jamie and Jamie shot a look at his dad. They exchanged a smile. Nothing happened. Jock had pretty much worn himself down. I could make neither head nor tail of the entire situation. Why was I the only one who was upset?
The next morning I asked Jamie, “Did you really not care about all that stuff Jock was saying to you?”
“Nah. That’s Jock”
As Jamie sat quietly listening, I told Peter how upset I was the night before, to which he smiled and replied, “That’s just Jock. He’s always looking for a reaction.”
I protested that it was unfair for a 36 year old to do that to a 15 year old. Peter laughed and said Jamie had the unfair advantage over Jock. Jamie giggled. Peter explained that Jock liked to boast that he could turn his 17 year old son into a 3 year old with just a few words. He laughed and said Jock still couldn’t understand how it didn’t work on Jamie. Jamie laughed. Finally I blurted out, “Well it worked on ME!”
Peter just tutt-ed at me and said, “That’s just Jock, you have to know how to take him.”
That I had witnessed something to do with ‘yielding’ and understanding ‘the source of a push’ dawned on me. I was disappointed with my response to a push. I realised that Jamie had a far better grasp of the true nature of yielding than I did, without T’ai Chi without any particular named philosophy to pin to it; he just understood. Peter understood. They both still seemed to like Jock. I felt like the slowest disciple. I flashed back to a childhood of witnessing the damage that cruel words did to my single mother. I understood the source of my defensive energies. Jamie hadn’t needed my protection the night before, my reaction was probably amusing enough to keep Jock going. I had inadvertently prolonged the verbal attack. I was the only one who seemed hurt. I was the only one reacting. My 15-year-old nephew painted a lesson for me in vibrant colours, the nature of yield, keeping his own integrity, not caring about the push because the push couldn’t hurt him, he understood the source. They still liked this man. I stood in awe. I still can’t like Jock after the way he attacked Jamie, maybe I still haven’t learned the lesson, but it is so tantalising, so worth pursuing.
27 January 2006
March 4th-10th T'ai Chi Retreat
The retreat that was planned for Newbold House will now be held at my home in Forgue from 2pm on Saturday 4th March until 10pm Friday 10th. There are plenty of spaces if you would like to come, and it is open to all, whatever your experience of T'ai Chi, as well as beginners. It is now non-residential, so the only costs are for Mark's teaching (£175 for the week) and for a meal and refreshments each day (£5 per person per day). However, there is also room for a few people to stay if they want to for £5 per night, contact me if you would like to do this. We are really happy to be holding it here as we feel the atmosphere is just right, relaxed and with informal arrangements that will be flexible to our T'ai Chi sessions. We are happy that the cost will be much lower, so if you can join us, please do.
Below is Mark's original outline of the week.
Would you like to have a daily practice that:
1. Calms and settles a busy or anxious mind?
2. Strengthens and enlivens your body?
3. Dissolves habitual reactions and fears?
4. Explores and refines the nature of your interactions with others?
Yes? ...then Tai Chi is for you.Take this opportunity to put your worldly concerns and pressures on hold for one week. Come and spend 7 days in wonderful surroundings with us and discover the ancient art of moving meditation. There is no need for any previous experience of Tai Chi and no required level of fitness. Students with experience - at any level - will be catered for. All you will need are loose comfortable clothes, some soft flat-soled slippers/shoes and an inquisitive nature! With special emphasis being given to the meditative aspects of Tai Chi we shall be covering the Yang style solo form, chi kung, pushing hands, sensitivity exercises and games. The teaching style will be gentle, spirited and engaging. There will be plenty of opportunities for personal reflection and private discussions with the teachers. By the end of the week you will have an understanding of the basic principles of Tai Chi with regard to solo practice and partner-work. You will have a practice that you can take home and integrate with all areas of your daily life. Tai Chi cultivates a wholehearted connection to your environment and the people in it. Tai Chi significantly reduces the negative effects of stress.
Mark will tailor the week depending on who finally enrols, so that everyone is catered for. Myself and David will be on hand to assist the whole time, so we can all really immerse ourselves in our work. The general plan is to have two sessions per day from Saturday 4th until Friday 10th, inclusive, approximately 2-5.30pm and 7-10pm. Mornings are free but you are welcome to come earlier and help with food preparation, join us for lunch or just practice in the T'ai Chi room for a while any time after 11am each day. After the final session I expect we'll have a bit of a celebration.
Please do contact me with any queries any time.
21 January 2006
Workshops 10th-12th February
Mark has confirmed the workshop themes, dates and times as follows:
Friday 10th Feb: Ta Lu for beginners and revision. Learn or revise the the right side of the Ta Lu, (an interlocking partner form which translates as 'big roll-back'). All who have at least a term's T'ai Chi experience with me are very welcome to attend. Also welcome are those who have studied for a year elsewhere or who practise a different style or martial art. 7-10pm £10 /£8
Saturday 11th Feb: An Introduction to T'ai Chi at Mclymont Hall, 43 Holburn St. Aberdeen, 1-6pm. All are welcome, absolute beginners as well as those who want to revise the basic principles of T'ai Chi and spend a day relaxing, softening and listening. There will be demonstrations, solo and partnerwork and an introduction to the warm-up set or Chi Kung. Bring a packed lunch or snack for the break and there will be tea and refreshments provided. Wear loose comfortable clothing and soft shoes. No previous experience of T'ai Chi is needed. £15 / £10 (concs) in advance, £18/ £13 on the day.
Sunday 12th Feb: 1-5pm Study Day for all my students. If you have studied with me for a term or more you are welcome to this day with Mark where we will look a little deeper at solo form and aspects of partner work. If more than 12 wish to come, I will hire the lovely warm hall in my village, Forgue, so let me know as soon as you can if you wish to come. £15/10.
7-10pm: Ta Lu - Left Side and Changes. We will reconvene at the hall or my home to look at the left side (or mirror image) of the Ta Lu form as well as some of the changes. This is open to all who have done a Ta Lu workshop with Mark. £10 / £8
If you would like to go to both of these Sunday workshops, feel free to come to my house for a bite to eat between sessions. Perhaps we could all bring a dish to share.
March T'ai Chi Retreat Workshop will now be at my home not at Newbold House: £175 tuition fees are for Mark, and there will be dinner, and refreshments every day here for £5 per day. More details will be on a separate posting later. There may be possible 1-2-1s on Friday 3rd, Sat11th, Sunday 12th and Monday 13th. Let me know if you are interested and I will check with Mark. Alternatively, take the week off work and come here with us!
20 January 2006
Sticking
For new students, new to sticking / listening hands, here's a link to something I blogged about it a few months ago that may be of help. More soon on this, as this seems to have been the theme since we started back last week. As soon as I have time, I will write a little more.
http://greatrivertaichi.blogspot.com/2005_11_01_greatrivertaichi_archive.html
http://greatrivertaichi.blogspot.com/2005_11_01_greatrivertaichi_archive.html
More Rumi
Who makes these changes?
I shoot an arrow right.
It lands left.
I ride after a deer and find myself
Chased by a hog.
I plot to get what I want
And end up in prison.
I dig pits to trap others
and fall in.
I should be suspicious
Of what I want.
(Mathnawi, VI, 3682-3687, trans. Coleman Barks and John Moyne)
I shoot an arrow right.
It lands left.
I ride after a deer and find myself
Chased by a hog.
I plot to get what I want
And end up in prison.
I dig pits to trap others
and fall in.
I should be suspicious
Of what I want.
(Mathnawi, VI, 3682-3687, trans. Coleman Barks and John Moyne)
19 January 2006
Sounds
This evening, at the intermediate class at Inverurie, two wonderful sounds stood out:
Firstly, the sigh as 20 or so pairs of shoulders relaxed down at the same moment when I turned round to find them all raised in concentration / tension whilst learning the TaLu form, some for the first time, as I said 'and relax the shoulders...'
Secondly, the bubbling, spirited, ripple of laughter that escaped the group simultaneously as they all sunk and relaxed en masse.
Firstly, the sigh as 20 or so pairs of shoulders relaxed down at the same moment when I turned round to find them all raised in concentration / tension whilst learning the TaLu form, some for the first time, as I said 'and relax the shoulders...'
Secondly, the bubbling, spirited, ripple of laughter that escaped the group simultaneously as they all sunk and relaxed en masse.
18 January 2006
Strange Beauty
Bill Thompson is a composer / sound art maker / musician who I met in Aberdeen and who does T'ai Chi, occasionally studying with myself and Mark. Though I have never been to one of his events yet, as I am always teaching at the same time, I have heard his recordings which are uncategorisable and engrossing, as art should be. Davina just pointed me to his blog which is full of strange beauty, passion and appreciation of the marginal, transient and real. His frustration (and amusement) at those who still ask "Is that music?" made me laugh with recognition about the times I have been asked the same, particularly after performances... But more recently the question is, from those who are convinced of the pre-eminence of their approach:
"Is that T'ai Chi?"
http://billthompson.blogspot.com
"Is that T'ai Chi?"
http://billthompson.blogspot.com
17 January 2006
T'ai Chi Workshops with Mark Raudva 2006
We now have dates for this year's workshops with my teacher. All workshops are open to my students, and beginner's days are open to anyone, whether they have T'ai Chi experience or not.
Weekends dates, details below:
Feb 10-13th
May 12-15th
August 11-14th
November 10-13th
The weekends usually follow this pattern:
Friday evening 7-10pm sessions will be Ta Lu and partner work open to all who have completed a term with me. Spaces are limited to about 12, so do book in advance, costs are £10 / £6 concessions.
Saturdays 1-6pm are an 'Introduction to T'ai Chi' are likely to be at Mclymont Hall, Holburn St, Aberdeen and are open to everyone. Here we look at the basic principles of T'ai Chi, learn sticking, develop our listening, and begin some of the warm up set (chi-kung). There will be a demonstration of T'ai Chi form and a chance to meet the teachers. Tea and coffee are provided and the costs are £15 / £8 in advance or £17 / £10 on the day.
Sundays 1-6pm are likely to be held at my home in Forgue, and are open to all my students. We will be looking more deeply at aspects of the form, push hands, standing practice, uprooting and other aspects of our T'ai Chi over the sessions. Costs as for Saturdays.
Mondays one to one or small group sessions: Mark often has space for a few sessions whilst he is up, do ask to see if there are spaces, £20 / £15 per hour solo £25 for groups of 2 or more.
As well as the above dates we are provisionally arranging 7th-10th August for Mark's mid summer T'ai Chi week, similar to last year, where you can have one to one sessions and classes here at my place. If students prefer, however, it may be possible to do 14th - 19th or so instead. Do let me know your preferences.
Lastly, the Newbold retreat will now be at my home 4th-11th March.
14 January 2006
Drop-In Classes
All students are welcome at mine on Sundays 2-6pm whatever level of experience they have. It's a great chance to meet and work with other folks. Also, students are welcome to come to both beginners classes at Aberdeen on Tuesday evenings or Huntly on Saturday mornings for revision and practice. There's no need to call, just turn up. Details are below, scroll down.
Endurance
Like many folks, I was brought up steeped in the culture of Christianity at school, in the wider community, and later at Sunday School and at Church. Now, later in life, despite not having been part of any religion for well over half my life, I am still amazed how many fragments and passages from the Bible come to mind, and at what times they flood in. One of my Grandfathers was a minister and though I knew him very little, it is certainly part of my family heritage. The verses that I remember most are from the Sermon on the Mount, Corinthians, and other New Testament chapters. There are some memories of Psalms, Proverbs and Song of Soloman too. I have read few Taoist books, but more importantly, my T'ai Chi practice (and the T'ai Chi Classics) shed new light on these words that come froward towards me from my past. During my standing practice tonight the words from 1 Corinthians 13 v7 came to mind, very vividly and strongly. Finding I had no Bible to refer to in the house, I recently bought a New Testament in Huntly at the second hand book store, Orb Books. I couldn't remember where the passage was from just now, so typed 'love endures all' into Google and found the chapter and verse. Here it is.There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope and its endurance.
New English Translation
However, how I remember it is more like...
Love faces all things; there is no end to its faith, its hope, love endures all things.
12 January 2006
The Pea Green Boat
It can be heard again all this week at: www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/innervoices/pip/6f82c/Stewart Lee is a good friend and also the most intelligent, funny and perceptive comedian I ever saw. A few of the T'ai Chi folks came to see his awesome Aberdeen show with me this December (which Jim has recorded, a CD may be produced soon) and met him whilst he stayed here. At the moment he is being attacked on all sides by an unholy coalition of (wait for it) the BNP and right-wing Christians calling itself 'Stop Springer', for his theatre piece 'Jerry Springer: The Opera'. None of them seems to have actually taken the trouble to go and see the play, which is an incredible satire on crass modern culture and also a meditation on redemption, with great songs and costumes thrown in... I saw it at Battersea Arts Centre years ago when it was still being written and found it to be full of depth and insight into our celebrity obsessed culture: far from the 'blasphemous' play that it is accused of being. It seems strange that is not ok to question the assumptions and fundamentalism of our own popular culture and yet that it is alright to align oneself with a 'political party' that is little more than a front for racists and homophobes - the BNP. I wish Stewart luck and strength dealing with these folks, as they are hardly known for listening to considered arguments, and are unhappy with the idea of freedom of speech...
On Radio 4 at 11.15pm on Wednesday his 2005 piece based on the story of 'The Owl and the Pussy Cat' will be aired again and I recommend it. Last time it was on I only caught a few minutes of the end, but again, had seen a staged version in London, which was both haunting and moving. The popular nursery rhyme is used as the boat on which to float ideas about love, obsession, unfortunate events and the difficulty of playing even rudimentary chords on a guitar with wings, instead of hands.
Stewart Lee's website is www.stewartlee.co.uk
09 January 2006
Quick Guide to Great River T'ai Chi Classes 2006
Here's a quick reference for all the classes we will run this term for anyone wishing to find a group near them. Contact me by email if you are interested. For contact email click 'view my full profile'. For our approach and style please click the link to my teacher's website. I hope to have my own site up and running soon. Classes run similarly to school terms except Huntly, which is in blocks of 4 or 5 sessions and Sundays at my home which run during termtime and holidays.
Monday 7-8.30pm Turriff beginners £4/£3 aprx (Ad Ed paid termly)
Tuesday 7.30-9pm Aberdeen beginners £5/£3.50
Wednesday 7-8.30pm Inverurie beginners - new class £4/£3 aprx (Ad Ed paid termly)
Thursday 7-9pm Inverurie intermediate £5/£3.50 aprx (Ad Ed paid termly)
Saturday 10.30-12 noon Huntly beginners £5/£3.50
Sunday 2-6pm Forgue drop-in class for any students at any stage £10/£6
One-to-one and small group lessons are always available and may be a better way of learning if you are offshore regularly, for instance, and find sticking to a set day each week unworkable. It is also a good way to catch up on any classes you have missed. Solo costs £10 per hour and two or more students - £15 p/h. Please give 24 hour's notice of cancellation. Cancellations after this will be charged 1/2 the lesson cost, at the next session.
Monday 7-8.30pm Turriff beginners £4/£3 aprx (Ad Ed paid termly)
Tuesday 7.30-9pm Aberdeen beginners £5/£3.50
Wednesday 7-8.30pm Inverurie beginners - new class £4/£3 aprx (Ad Ed paid termly)
Thursday 7-9pm Inverurie intermediate £5/£3.50 aprx (Ad Ed paid termly)
Saturday 10.30-12 noon Huntly beginners £5/£3.50
Sunday 2-6pm Forgue drop-in class for any students at any stage £10/£6
One-to-one and small group lessons are always available and may be a better way of learning if you are offshore regularly, for instance, and find sticking to a set day each week unworkable. It is also a good way to catch up on any classes you have missed. Solo costs £10 per hour and two or more students - £15 p/h. Please give 24 hour's notice of cancellation. Cancellations after this will be charged 1/2 the lesson cost, at the next session.
Work
Tonight's lesson was cancelled at short notice due to my student needing to make arrangements for a colleague who had been hit in the face with a hook. I was suddenly reminded of the physical peril involved in an industry such as oil, in which many of my students work here in the North East of Scotland. Apart from icy roads when I am on my moped, and the hordes of 'boy racers' in Inverurie when I get there to teach, I rarely encounter actual physical danger. I wonder what working in a dangerous environment does to your energy and attitude. Do you get blase, does it keep you anxious and adrenalised, or can it be beneficial, in any way, to be close to disaster each day?
Just as I finished typing that last sentence I heard a tremendous sound from the kitchen and ran through. Diesel, my rather small neutered black cat was chasing out the huge farm tom-cat that comes in and steals his leftover food most nights and prowls the kitchen. Usually Diesel stays on his chair and doesn't get involved, but there was a huge fight outside in the woods between the two cats, despite my shouts. Most nights the other cat comes around as we are part of his territory and although we have cornered and chased him he still returns. I wonder how it will work itself out.
I spent the evening doing my own solo work as David returned to London today for two weeks, we will miss him. Steve's recent blog had spoken of practising badly, and how easy this is. Many times I have slipped into dullness, repetition or just drifted off. My work this fortnight is to try to be as connected in my solo work as when I am with my teacher, in class or working with David. Physically this involves applying myself to each thing I work on and working on what my teacher has asked me to improve, modify, drain tension from, repeat, endure, etc: one thing at a time. Mentally it requires much putting down of thoughts, endlessly, for the whole session. I will watch how and if this changes over the fortnight, if things become quieter. In terms of how it all feels, I am trying to cultivate the same kind of 'springing out of myself' that I feel when I am studying with my teacher or really connected with David, Marli, or another T'ai Chi partner. At the moment this comes and goes and has to do with whether I am bound up in myself. There is great energy suddenly present for the moments when I am not stuck in myself and am joined and connected. It has nothing to do with anyone else being in the room. Sadly, I have definitely pushed hands on autopilot, right in front of someone yet totally unconnected. Mark laughingly refers to this as 'washing machine T'ai Chi', it just goes round and round, even if it is on 'delicates'.
When I ask students to do their practice at home, and you tell me it is difficult, or you get distracted, or forget what you are meant to be doing, I can assure you that I do know what you are talking about. The only way through all this is to do the work, and to get the attitude, spirit and effort right. I am still working on this after about 8 or 9 years doing T'ai Chi. It also is a source of frustration, yet a strangely motivating thought, that I began T'ai Chi 20 years ago this month. Wishing I had practised that whole time makes me want to work more now.
Term starts soon for all the classes, lots of new students have been making enquiries, as well as folks who have done other styles of T'ai Chi before. Most will not have done any partner work before and it is an opportunity for all those of you who have done a term or even 3 years with me to really join, listen, yield... I know I mention this each term but, the first time you do sticking with a newcomer can so influence how they will feel in the coming sessions. This is not about being superficially 'nice', but wholehearted, gentle, really listening.
Also, those of you who have been studying one-to-one or in groups with Mark and myself over the break have learned a lot of exciting, wonderful things; techniques, movements, corrections, waist turns and so on. However, don't forget the first things that we learned are still vital. 'Sink, turn, relax'. 'Forget self, join with the other'. When we work with a partner we have to put down the technique and really listen; whoever we are working with and whatever we are doing, otherwise we're just caught up in our own little world, inflicting some weird movement on another human being. This is an ongoing lesson, and I am saying it to myself as well as to my students.
Just as I finished typing that last sentence I heard a tremendous sound from the kitchen and ran through. Diesel, my rather small neutered black cat was chasing out the huge farm tom-cat that comes in and steals his leftover food most nights and prowls the kitchen. Usually Diesel stays on his chair and doesn't get involved, but there was a huge fight outside in the woods between the two cats, despite my shouts. Most nights the other cat comes around as we are part of his territory and although we have cornered and chased him he still returns. I wonder how it will work itself out.
I spent the evening doing my own solo work as David returned to London today for two weeks, we will miss him. Steve's recent blog had spoken of practising badly, and how easy this is. Many times I have slipped into dullness, repetition or just drifted off. My work this fortnight is to try to be as connected in my solo work as when I am with my teacher, in class or working with David. Physically this involves applying myself to each thing I work on and working on what my teacher has asked me to improve, modify, drain tension from, repeat, endure, etc: one thing at a time. Mentally it requires much putting down of thoughts, endlessly, for the whole session. I will watch how and if this changes over the fortnight, if things become quieter. In terms of how it all feels, I am trying to cultivate the same kind of 'springing out of myself' that I feel when I am studying with my teacher or really connected with David, Marli, or another T'ai Chi partner. At the moment this comes and goes and has to do with whether I am bound up in myself. There is great energy suddenly present for the moments when I am not stuck in myself and am joined and connected. It has nothing to do with anyone else being in the room. Sadly, I have definitely pushed hands on autopilot, right in front of someone yet totally unconnected. Mark laughingly refers to this as 'washing machine T'ai Chi', it just goes round and round, even if it is on 'delicates'.
When I ask students to do their practice at home, and you tell me it is difficult, or you get distracted, or forget what you are meant to be doing, I can assure you that I do know what you are talking about. The only way through all this is to do the work, and to get the attitude, spirit and effort right. I am still working on this after about 8 or 9 years doing T'ai Chi. It also is a source of frustration, yet a strangely motivating thought, that I began T'ai Chi 20 years ago this month. Wishing I had practised that whole time makes me want to work more now.
Term starts soon for all the classes, lots of new students have been making enquiries, as well as folks who have done other styles of T'ai Chi before. Most will not have done any partner work before and it is an opportunity for all those of you who have done a term or even 3 years with me to really join, listen, yield... I know I mention this each term but, the first time you do sticking with a newcomer can so influence how they will feel in the coming sessions. This is not about being superficially 'nice', but wholehearted, gentle, really listening.
Also, those of you who have been studying one-to-one or in groups with Mark and myself over the break have learned a lot of exciting, wonderful things; techniques, movements, corrections, waist turns and so on. However, don't forget the first things that we learned are still vital. 'Sink, turn, relax'. 'Forget self, join with the other'. When we work with a partner we have to put down the technique and really listen; whoever we are working with and whatever we are doing, otherwise we're just caught up in our own little world, inflicting some weird movement on another human being. This is an ongoing lesson, and I am saying it to myself as well as to my students.
07 January 2006
Mark's New Year Visit
Thursday 5th January
Open session.
My teacher Mark went back South yesterday after spending over a week here with us teaching T'ai Chi in groups and one-to-one sessions with my students. It was such precious time and as usual I learned so much assisting Mark, as well as in David's and my study session with him. From myself, David and all the students... a huge thankyou to Mark for his time, energy and sensitivity to what everyone needed to work on most in their T'ai Chi.
03 January 2006
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)