31 December 2005
Hogmanay
New Year's Eve very bright, cold and sunny. My teacher is here doing one-to-one lessons almost everyday with my students, David and myself. All the guests are out and I have a very rare quiet moment to read online, write and pause, before the leap into company later. Soon I will take him tea.
Students arrive in a certain frame of mind and sit at the table as we drink tea, the conversation full of news and information exchange. After they return from the T'ai Chi room, a few hours later, their energy is always utterly transformed. I used to ask Mark to tell me what he had taught, if I had not been assisting, so that I could keep track of how students were doing. Now I just sit quietly with the students as they show in the way they are being what has taken place. Three people in the same small group lesson with Mark may all shift in different ways, one may seem brighter, another shaky and tender, another intrigued and determined to do work on their T'ai Chi. It is very humbling.
Have a wonderful New Year,
Love from Caroline.
Students arrive in a certain frame of mind and sit at the table as we drink tea, the conversation full of news and information exchange. After they return from the T'ai Chi room, a few hours later, their energy is always utterly transformed. I used to ask Mark to tell me what he had taught, if I had not been assisting, so that I could keep track of how students were doing. Now I just sit quietly with the students as they show in the way they are being what has taken place. Three people in the same small group lesson with Mark may all shift in different ways, one may seem brighter, another shaky and tender, another intrigued and determined to do work on their T'ai Chi. It is very humbling.
Have a wonderful New Year,
Love from Caroline.
26 December 2005
Happiness
Whoever embraces a woman is Adam. The woman is Eve.
Everything happens for the first time.
I saw something white in the sky.
They tell me it is the moon, but what can I do with a word and a mythology.
Trees frighten me a little. They are so beautiful.
The calm animals come closer so that I may tell them their names.
The books in the library have no letters. They spring forth when I open them.
Leafing through the atlas I project the shape of Sumatra.
Whoever lights a match in the dark is inventing fire.
Inside the mirror an Other waits in ambush.
Whoever looks at the ocean sees England.
Whoever utters a line of Liliencron has entered into battle.
I have dreamed Carthage and the legions that destroyed Carthage.
I have dreamed the sword and the scale.
Praised be the love wherein there is no possessor and no possessed, but both surrender.
Praised be the nightmare, which reveals to us that we the power to create hell.
Whoever goes down to a river goes down to the Ganges.
Whoever looks at an hourglass sees the dissolution of an empire.
Whoever plays with a dagger foretells the death of Caesar.
Whoever dreams is every human being.
In the desert I saw the young Sphinx, which has just been sculpted.
There is nothing else so ancient under the sun.
Everything happens for the first time, but in a way that is eternal.
Whoever reads my words is inventing them.
By Jorge Luis Borges: -La cifra "The Limit" (1981). Jorge Luis Borges - Selected Poems.
Translation by Stephen Kessler.
Everything happens for the first time.
I saw something white in the sky.
They tell me it is the moon, but what can I do with a word and a mythology.
Trees frighten me a little. They are so beautiful.
The calm animals come closer so that I may tell them their names.
The books in the library have no letters. They spring forth when I open them.
Leafing through the atlas I project the shape of Sumatra.
Whoever lights a match in the dark is inventing fire.
Inside the mirror an Other waits in ambush.
Whoever looks at the ocean sees England.
Whoever utters a line of Liliencron has entered into battle.
I have dreamed Carthage and the legions that destroyed Carthage.
I have dreamed the sword and the scale.
Praised be the love wherein there is no possessor and no possessed, but both surrender.
Praised be the nightmare, which reveals to us that we the power to create hell.
Whoever goes down to a river goes down to the Ganges.
Whoever looks at an hourglass sees the dissolution of an empire.
Whoever plays with a dagger foretells the death of Caesar.
Whoever dreams is every human being.
In the desert I saw the young Sphinx, which has just been sculpted.
There is nothing else so ancient under the sun.
Everything happens for the first time, but in a way that is eternal.
Whoever reads my words is inventing them.
By Jorge Luis Borges: -La cifra "The Limit" (1981). Jorge Luis Borges - Selected Poems.
Translation by Stephen Kessler.
24 December 2005
Emily
Amongst the pictures from friends, circulars and animated snowmen that are arriving in my inbox came this, from Emily, who was only here for about two weeks, two years ago. When we met I was struck by the open-ness and ancient-ness of her face. It was not that she looked old, rather she looked like a frontiers-woman from the old 'West', as if she could have handled a rifle, wagon and horses all at once. She was quiet, capable, entirely unjudgmental and American.
What wisdom is acquired during the course of a life is a result of the mind's tenderness toward the heart.
- Fra Mauro, 16th century cartographer to the court of Venice
What wisdom is acquired during the course of a life is a result of the mind's tenderness toward the heart.
- Fra Mauro, 16th century cartographer to the court of Venice
22 December 2005
Alford Classes
Unfortunately we will not be able to offer classes at Alford in the near future. Anyone who was planning to come to the new beginners' class will be welcome at Turriff on Mondays, Aberdeen on Tuesdays or Inverurie on Wednesdays. Those with experience of T'ai Chi are welcome to join the Intermediate class on Thursdays at Inverurie. Please contact me for details at the email address in my profile.
21 December 2005
20 December 2005
18 December 2005
Sunday
One of the great benefits in my life that increased T'ai Chi practice has brought is relief from many years of lower back pain. Since before my operation to remove a ruptured spinal disc, I have had pain every morning, whatever bed I slept on or exercise regime I tried. Two months ago I began to train with David almost every day and about 2 weeks ago I woke up knowing something was different. It was my first completely pain-free morning for as long as I could remember. The spiralling constant motion of our T'ai Chi, the nurturing of the spine by tucking the tailbone in gently and the relaxing of tension are all helping to heal a very old injury.
Yesterday, however, I pulled my back for the first time in ages. I was barely bending over, just putting T-shirts away in the drawer. Perhaps the severe cold here, after a week in warmer London, meant my muscles were tense and prone to injury. Or maybe I was distracted and full of thoughts, so not paying attention. Whatever prompted the event, it is now very painful and physically difficult to tuck my sacrum in at all and to be in 'good posture' as instructed by my teacher. It is interesting watching my reactions to this, especially as I was teaching for 4 hours today. Whilst asking the students to be gentle, listening and soft with each other, internally I was being very hard on myself, frustrated at my posture. Also, even though I hardly had my tailbone visibly sticking out, it felt like there was no connection to the ground in my postures toward the end of the lesson. Uprooting became impossible. Not being able to rest back into my posture weakened my root; and combined with intermittently dwelling on self due to pain, this meant I was feeling like a beginner again in terms of not being able to 'do' what I thought I should be doing. Actually, this has been a very helpful thing.
It was a productive session. Passing on short form corrections, applications and clarifications from Mark is always good. In partner work we are trying to practise gently with each other, really listening, laying ourselves alongside the partner rather than against them, stopping 'doing things': mostly things I was working on in London with Mark, which made me feel like a beginner then too. Today the students found themselves unable to go through the motions and having to really listen or they would find themselves asking 'what happened there?'.
Yesterday, however, I pulled my back for the first time in ages. I was barely bending over, just putting T-shirts away in the drawer. Perhaps the severe cold here, after a week in warmer London, meant my muscles were tense and prone to injury. Or maybe I was distracted and full of thoughts, so not paying attention. Whatever prompted the event, it is now very painful and physically difficult to tuck my sacrum in at all and to be in 'good posture' as instructed by my teacher. It is interesting watching my reactions to this, especially as I was teaching for 4 hours today. Whilst asking the students to be gentle, listening and soft with each other, internally I was being very hard on myself, frustrated at my posture. Also, even though I hardly had my tailbone visibly sticking out, it felt like there was no connection to the ground in my postures toward the end of the lesson. Uprooting became impossible. Not being able to rest back into my posture weakened my root; and combined with intermittently dwelling on self due to pain, this meant I was feeling like a beginner again in terms of not being able to 'do' what I thought I should be doing. Actually, this has been a very helpful thing.
It was a productive session. Passing on short form corrections, applications and clarifications from Mark is always good. In partner work we are trying to practise gently with each other, really listening, laying ourselves alongside the partner rather than against them, stopping 'doing things': mostly things I was working on in London with Mark, which made me feel like a beginner then too. Today the students found themselves unable to go through the motions and having to really listen or they would find themselves asking 'what happened there?'.
17 December 2005
Return
Back home to snow and clear night skies full of the moon.
In London I went to all the regular classes that Mark taught, particularly treasuring the chance to be part of a group as we practised the long form. This week was mainly T'ai Chi in action, in the thick of life and not apart from it.
It would be good to write up here many things that Mark taught during the week, but here's one thing now. Mark was teaching partner work during the Tuesday group (they are about 1/3 way through the long form) when he mentioned that brightness of spirit and connection is instant and not something to be pondered and then set in motion. As the partner moves towards us we instantly join and connect rather than making any decision to do this, which will always result in us being too late and is also based on being concerned with self. He said a cat doesn't decide whether to respond to the sound of the mouse scratching in the floorboard, its interest is immediate and total, and we should cultivate this absolute interest in our partner in our T'ai Chi.
Pictures from the London classes soon, and other relevant things from working with Mark.
In London I went to all the regular classes that Mark taught, particularly treasuring the chance to be part of a group as we practised the long form. This week was mainly T'ai Chi in action, in the thick of life and not apart from it.
It would be good to write up here many things that Mark taught during the week, but here's one thing now. Mark was teaching partner work during the Tuesday group (they are about 1/3 way through the long form) when he mentioned that brightness of spirit and connection is instant and not something to be pondered and then set in motion. As the partner moves towards us we instantly join and connect rather than making any decision to do this, which will always result in us being too late and is also based on being concerned with self. He said a cat doesn't decide whether to respond to the sound of the mouse scratching in the floorboard, its interest is immediate and total, and we should cultivate this absolute interest in our partner in our T'ai Chi.
Pictures from the London classes soon, and other relevant things from working with Mark.
08 December 2005
06 December 2005
Classes at the House
I am away to London and Bournemouth on Friday for a week of lessons with Mark and seeing my family. I return on 16th December. Classes continue all Winter here at the house from this Sunday and one-to-one lessons are available with myself or David for £10 per hour anytime if you need to do some catching up or have things you want to look at in depth. Sunday sessions are planned as 2-4pm solo work and Form, 4-6pm partner work. You can come to the whole thing or one half, whatever suits you. (£10/£6 for 4 hrs.) Wednesday night sessions are also open to all and take the same format as classes in regular venues, except that we drink tea before and after the class.
01 December 2005
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